042: You ARE Getting Results…Are They the Results You Want?
You ARE Getting Results…Are They the Results You Want?
This month, I’m taking a week for each of the components of the thought model as developed by my coach, Brooke Castillo. She created the thought model as a combination of various thought leaders and teachers she studied early in her career as a life coach. I’ve talked about the model before, but if you haven’t heard those conversations, let me give you the big picture.
Circumstance
With any situation in your life, you have a neutral circumstance. This is the fact of the situation, devoid of any emotion or bias. The circumstance is the only part of the thought model over which you have no control – and that’s great news.
Thought
This is your thought about that circumstance. The sentence in your head.
Feeling
This is your emotion about the thought you’re having.
Action
This is the step you take – the action – based on the thought you’re having and the feeling that thought generated. It can also be a reaction or inaction.
Result
This is the result you achieve based on the action, inaction, or reaction.
Today, I want to hone in on the results you are getting in your life. Message #1: You ARE getting results in your life. No matter what. Here are some possible results you may be getting:
Making more money than this time last year.
Making the same amount of money as this time last year.
Making less money as this time last year.
Got a promotion at work.
Didn’t get a promotion at work.
Got a new job last month.
Haven’t gotten a new job, despite looking for one year.
Got married this year.
Got divorced this year.
Didn’t go on any dates this year.
It is possible to work from the bottom up on the thought model, starting with the result you’ve achieved to determine why you got that result. You can also work from the bottom up to start with the result you want to get and determine what you need to do, feel, and think to get that result.
Let’s start with a positive example in your life. Let’s say you just landed your dream job. Here’s a possible thought model that led to that result:
THOUGHT: “The company that chooses to hire me will be so glad they did!”
FEELING: Confident and Persistent.
ACTION: Planned and launched a proactive job search strategy that included frequent networking activities and minimized job boards. Set daily and weekly job search goals and rewarded myself for achieving those goals.
RESULT: Just got my dream job!
Here’s a less-than positive result you might be experiencing: You’ve been looking for a new job for a solid year, with little activity and no job offers. Perhaps this is how your current thought model looks:
THOUGHT: “I need a new job.”
FEELING: Desperate.
ACTION: I spend two-three hours every week looking at job boards and applying to positions I’m qualified for.
RESULT: No job offers; only three interviews.
Let’s say that, after this year of unsuccessful job searching, you want to change your result. Let’s do some subtle shifts to your thought model that will make all the difference.
THOUGHT: “I will be in a new position by DATE.”
FEELING: Purposeful.
ACTION: Research other ways of job searching that are more effective; create a plan to implement the ones that make the most sense for me.
RESULT: Get a new job I love by DATE.
Here’s the question to ask yourself: Why am I choosing this result in my life? This is a hard question to ask. Your brain will push back, telling you that you didn’t choose this result.
You didn’t choose to look for a job for an entire year with no offers.
You didn’t choose to make less money this year than last.
You didn’t choose to get passed over for that promotion.
But you DID. I promise you, you did choose these results.
Perhaps you chose to look for a job for an entire year with no offers because your action (your job search strategy) wasn’t effective.
Perhaps you chose to make less money this year than last because you didn’t take the action of asking for a raise, or prospect for more customers, or apply for a higher position. You didn’t consciously choose to make less money, but by taking the actions or inactions you did, you effectively made that choice.
Perhaps you chose to get passed over for that promotion because you didn’t advocate for yourself, you didn’t give your best effort, or you cultivated a reputation as a lone wolf who doesn’t play well with others.
I can hear you pushing back on this now. I understand where you’re coming from, I promise. Here’s the question? Does blaming the job market, your employer, your boss, or yourself for the results you’re getting in your life have any upside? Sure…you might conduct a very effective job search and it still takes longer than you want it to. You might give 100% at work and still get passed over for that raise or promotion. How an employer or boss acts is 100% out of your control. How you show up is 100% within your control.
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