Can’t Change Anyone Else. Best News Ever.

Can’t Change Anyone Else. Best News Ever.

In this week’s blog, I talk about managing relationships at work.

Here’s what the blog is REALLY about: managing yourself around your relationships at work.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever uttered one of the following about a co-worker, boss, significant other, family member:

“My co-worker/boss/sibling/spouse makes me so mad.”

“He hurt my feelings.”

“If she would just get her act together, I would actually enjoy working there.”

Think about it. You’re abdicating your happiness to someone else. Terrible idea, especially if you don’t even like that person.

Here’s the bad news: you can’t change anyone else. Period. (Unless it’s a baby and you’re changing a diaper.)

Here’s the best news ever: you can change your experience of that person. This is totally available to you in any given situation.

How is this possible? By changing your thoughts about that person.

Changing from :

“My co-worker makes me so mad when he doesn’t finish his projects on time,” to “My co-worker has really good attention to detail.”

Changing from

“My boss doesn’t recognize my contribution to this company,” to “I make a great contribution to this company.”

Changing from :

“My significant other hurt my feelings,” to “I love my significant other.”

Here’s the deal: in each situation, each of these options is available to you, as well as a myriad of other options. Each will produce significantly different feelings.

And you get to decide how you want to feel.

Because your life isn’t happening to you, you are choosing how you want to experience your life.

Ask yourself how you want to feel in any given situation, and then determine the thought that will generate that feeling for you.

Then feel away.

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